The ego, for the purposes of this article, refers to the part of us that is concerned with our wellbeing. This inner alarm system enables us to put our boundaries down to secure a peaceful mental and physical space for ourselves.
Alas, sometimes navigating through life can feel like playing a game of dodge ball. After a few of these throws have made impact our ego can sometimes be rocked off course. It can veer too much left and blind us to the wants, needs and rights of others or it can veer too much to the right and make us blind to our own wants, needs and rights, encouraging us to always put others before us.
We do not consciously notice when our ego has started to shift away from the path concerned with our wellbeing. Any movement in any direction indicates that a person has lost focus of his or her own wellbeing (internal world) and has begun to focus on the external world (other people and what they do or don’t do).
Usually this occurs after we have had a real life encounter that resulted in us feeling pain. It is in running from these hurts that we lose our way and try to control our external situations to make sure we never feel the hurt again. This hyper-vigilance on the external facets of life is ultimately how our ego becomes skewed.
The simple truth is that what you perceive on the outside is a reflection of your internal world. You are not separate and apart from the pain that you perceive others bring to you. There is nothing that you see in an external situation that is not determined by your internal world. This is literally achieved through the science of sight (external stimuli perceived through internal processes in the eye) and figuratively through our internal processing of our world (through perception).
Empathy is one way to guide our ego back. Empathy is the part of us that allows us to imagine what it must be like to be in another person’s shoes. It encourages consideration of the rights, needs and wants of others. Having empathy for yourself is also very important. The sacrifices that you are willing to make for others you must be prepared to make for yourself.
Another crucial step is to confront your past hurt. This can be done through your own efforts or through the help of a professional. Confronting your hurt allows you to stop running from it, which means that there is no need to control the external environment and your ego can continue serving its original and healthier purpose.
Be free to be the person that you truly are inside and not a slave to a distorted ego. Whether that means starting therapy or diving into the “self-help” world, stop reacting and choose to create today.
It can be a bit difficult to implement these strategies but this is where the therapeutic process can be quite helpful. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me for one on one work or to any other qualified professional with whom you are comfortable.
I can be contacted via telephone: 868-495-6285; email: camillemquamina@gmail.com or social media on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter: @camillemquamina